JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH
Attending a wedding for the first time, a little
girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the
bride dressed in white?''The mother replied,
'Because white is the color of happiness,
and today is the happiest day of her life..'
The child thought about this for a moment
then said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?'
A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was
running as fast as she could, trying not to
be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed,
'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!
Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!'
While she was running and praying, she
tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes
dirty and tearing her dress. She got up,
brushed herself off, a nd started running again!
As she ran she once again began to pray,
'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late
...But please don't shove me either!'
Three boys are in the school yard bragging
about their fathers. The first boy says,
'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece
of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50..'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad
scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls
it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat.
My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of
paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight
people to collect all the money!'
An elderly woman died last month. Having
never married , she requested no male
pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions
for her memorial service, she wrote,
'They wouldn't take me out while I was
alive, I don't want them to take me
out when I'm dead.'
A police recruit was asked during the
exam, 'What would you do if you had
to arrest your own mother?'
He answered, 'Call for backup.'
A Sunday School teacher asked her
class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus
with them to Jerusalem ...
A small child replied,
'They couldn't get a baby-sitter. '
A Sunday school teacher was discussing
the Ten Commandments with her five
and six year olds. After explaining the
'Honor thy father and thy mother,'
she asked, 'Is t here a commandment
that teaches us how to treat our brothers
and sisters?' Without missing a beat,
one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
At Sunday School they were teaching
how God created everything, including
human beings. Little Johnny seemed
especially intent when they told him
how Eve was created out of one of
Adam's ribs..Later in the week his
mother noticed him lying down as
though he were ill, and she said,
'Johnny, what is the matter?'
Little Johnny responded,
'I have pain in my side.
I think I'm going to have a wife.'
Two boys were walking home from
Sunday school after hearing a strong
preaching on the devil. One said to the other,
'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how
Santa Claus turned out.
It's probably just your Dad.'
You don't stop laughing because you grow old.
You grow old because you stop laughing!
Take heed and pass these along to people
who need a laugh. I thought you would enjoy this
....times are tough right now...for all of us...so
we need something to make the day a happy
place. "They" haven't found a way to tax
you for laughing yet.