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JOKES THAT CAN BE TOLD IN CHURCH

Attending a wedding for the first time, a little

girl whispered to her mother, 'Why is the

bride dressed in white?''The mother replied,

'Because white is the color of happiness,

and today is the happiest day of her life..'
The child thought about this for a moment

then said, 'So why is the groom wearing black?'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was

running as fast as she could, trying not to

be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed,

'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!

Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!'
While she was running and praying, she

tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes

dirty and tearing her dress. She got up,

brushed herself off, a nd started running again!

As she ran she once again began to pray,

'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late

...But please don't shove me either!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three boys are in the school yard bragging

about their fathers. The first boy says,

'My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece

of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50..'
The second boy says, 'That's nothing. My Dad

scribbles a few words on piece of paper, he calls

it a song, they give him $100.'
The third boy says, 'I got you both beat.

My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of

paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight

people to collect all the money!'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

An elderly woman died last month. Having

never married , she requested no male

pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions

for her memorial service, she wrote,

'They wouldn't take me out while I was

alive, I don't want them to take me

out when I'm dead.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A police recruit was asked during the

exam, 'What would you do if you had

to arrest your own mother?'

He answered, 'Call for backup.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday School teacher asked her

class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus

with them to Jerusalem ...

A small child replied,

'They couldn't get a baby-sitter. '
~~~~~~~~~~~~

A Sunday school teacher was discussing

the Ten Commandments with her five

and six year olds. After explaining the

commandment to

'Honor thy father and thy mother,'

she asked, 'Is t here a commandment

that teaches us how to treat our brothers

and sisters?' Without missing a beat,

one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

At Sunday School they were teaching

how God created everything, including

human beings. Little Johnny seemed

especially intent when they told him

how Eve was created out of one of

Adam's ribs..Later in the week his

mother noticed him lying down as

though he were ill, and she said,

'Johnny, what is the matter?'

Little Johnny responded,

'I have pain in my side.

I think I'm going to have a wife.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~

Two boys were walking home from

Sunday school after hearing a strong

preaching on the devil. One said to the other,

'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how

Santa Claus turned out.

It's probably just your Dad.'
~~~~~~~~~~~~


You don't stop laughing because you grow old.

You grow old because you stop laughing!

Take heed and pass these along to people

who need a laugh. I thought you would enjoy this

....times are tough right now...for all of us...so

we need something to make the day a happy

place. "They" haven't found a way to tax

you for laughing yet.

Tags: Laughter

Views: 60

Replies to This Discussion

Swedish jokes:
:
A lady comes in a fishmonger and looked at the codfish that layed there. She said: "this fish does not look very good". - Answer: "You are quite right my dear lady, but this is much worse than that..He is dead."

The editor:
"Your poem which you sent to us for our periodical was so full av warmth and glow so that we decided to light a fire with it in our fireplace at the editing department."

Have a good laughter,
Chandra
HA HAA HAA Haa

th...........an....k........u

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