Community on Yoga, Meditation, Ayurveda and Spirituality
I am proud of all my Friends on this world renowned yoga website and excited for all of you to thrive in your love life. So, I give you all following four EFFECTIVE MANTRAS of EFFICIENT COMMUNICATION:
(1) When your partner becomes angry and threatens to break off relationship or says something really hutful, you may politely say - "let us talk about it later" and stop the conversation without saying anything further. If you try to give an answer or try to prove your partner wrong, your partner may in that mindset of momentary anger make mistake of permanently breaking up with you. It is so because in that angry mood, your answers/justifying statements shall be treated as threatening very core of your partner's value-system. If your partner still persists with anger, don't give any more immediate reply. Wait a day or two before you again talk to your partner. Chances are that by that time your partner's anger shall have been over and therefore your partner would be in a more receptive mood to listen to you.
(2) Never persist with giving #advices, saying like - "hey, You have this #problem. You should do like this" or "Don't do this as it may not be good for you." It is so because your partner may sometimes misinterpret it as you trying to unduly "INFLUENCE" or "CONTROL" their behaviour and consequently your partner may retaliate by breaking up with you even if advice given by you were correct. Instead, choose your words and phrases carefully. You may say - "I wish to share an idea with you if you allow me to do so. I have something very important to share with you. But, I will share it with you only if you promise that you will not become angry with me." Chances are your partner shall be amused, smile back and reply - "Don't worry. I am willing to listen to you, dear."
Never give judgemental advices to your partner such as - "hey, this guy is not suitable for you as a friend." You may be misinterpreted as being "Domineering" or a "Bully" trying to trample upon "Independence " of your partner. Instead, you may say - "hey, it is you who has to finally decide for your own self what type of friend you want. I can only give my opinion. If you allow me, I will give my personal opinion" and then express your views about that friend. Never say - "This is my advice to you." Instead, you May say politely - "Hey, I can only help improve your existing situation by giving my opinion. Ultimately, you YOURSELF have to decide what is good for you"
(3) Your partner may sometimes have mood swings that may make them say nasty things that they actually don't mean. For example, your partner may completely surprise you by declaring - "I like this person. I feel I must get married to this person". Don't be upset immediately. Keep cool and say politely - "I appreciate your feelings. Let us talk about it later" and IMMEDIATELY stop the conversation. Chances are your partner shall come back into your loving arms once your partner's mood-swing is over.
(4) Never be "DEFINITE" in your views while chatting with your partner about some thing on which both of you have divergent views. Don't say - "hey, I know this is how it actually is." Your partner may feel irritated and may feel you are trying to prove your SUPERIORITY over your partner. And that may lead your partner to drift away from you. Instead, say - "hey, I am not sure. I may in fact be in the wrong. But, this is what I feel about it. This is my personal opinion on it." This shall not cause any disturbance in your partner's mind. Chances are your partner shall happily listen to your differing views or opinions.
These Communication techniques shall definitely stand you in good stead in other areas of life, too.
So, refine your communication skills and enjoy a happy love life.
-~ Dr. Swaamee Aprtemaanandaa Jee
(Spiritual Guide and Relationships-Angel)