I would like more information on meditation.. I have avoidance
personality disorder ( really just a severe form of social phobia with
panic attacks) would really like to learn how to control my thoughts..
I'm doing yoga now at home mostly through youtube routines. i'm not
able to meditate though because my brain won't ...shut down. I need a guru a spiritual healer or someone to help me move on :) but I'm poor.

Keerthana: just a Q, how is your relationship with your family members (includes just your parents and spouse) ? u had any trauma in your childhood?

Tiina: I am neither a guru nor a spiritual healer, but have a practical suggestion if you like...

Have you tried coordinating gentle movement with simple breathing to combine
movement with mindfulness practice? Perhaps you can have someone read th...is to you while you practice, or record your own voice and replay while you try it.


Lie on the floor or on a mat, knees bent, feet on floor.

Take a moment to straighten/align your spine from neck to tail as best you can.

Arms at sides resting on floor where comfortable.

Take a moment to close your eyes (or gently open... experiment with which
works best for you re: quieting the mind), and take a deeper, but still
gentle, breath or two, and let your bodyweight sink into the floor as
you exhale. See how much you can relax your body like this before
beginning to move your legs.

Again, your knees are bent, feet are on the floor. Let both knees move toward the floor on the right,
bring them back to centre, then let both knees move toward the floor on
the left, bring them back to centre.

Repeat this movement, knees falling right, coming back to centre, then falling left, coming back to
centre. This is a simple movement, no need for too much effort here.
Take the knees only as far left and as far right as is comfortable,
within a pain-free range.

While continuing the movements, tune in to your breath. Notice the inhale and the exhale.

Now begin to coordinate your breath with the movement of your legs.

Exhaling knees fall to the right, inhaling knees come back to centre. Exhaling
knees fall to the left, inahling knees come back to centre.

MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT "OVER-BREATHING." This is not a breathing competition,
just breathe normally and tune in to the rhythm of your natural breath,
wherever it is right now, and move your legs back and forth in time
with it.

MAKE SURE YOU ARE NOT EXAGGERATING THE MOVEMENT. This is not about stretching or exercising, it is about simple mindful

Continue this rhythm of gently exhaling the knees to the sides, inhaling them back to centre.

Be mindful--practice moment to moment awareness--by making sure you are
completing the exhale with the knees to the sides before moving the
knees back to centre on the inhale. Complete each inhale before moving
the knees for the exhale.

Notice the pause between the inhales and exhales.

When you have come to a comfortable rhythm of moving the knees side to side
with the breath, add your head and neck to the movement by GENTLY
turning the head in the opposite direction of the knees on each inhale
and exhale, now coordinating leg movement and neck movement with your

Turn your head ONLY as far as it is comfortable. Again, this is not for stretching or exercising.

Continue this very gentle movement and breathing, returning to focusing on your
breath and movement whenever you find your mind has drifted elsewhere.


You can practice this briefly at first, no more than 3 minutes. Slowly
moving to 5 minutes, and maybe toward 10 minutes maximum. Set an alarm
for yourself and just let the practice be for 3 minutes at a time for a
while in the beginning. Don't compete with yourself, this is an
exploration, not a competition.

Stop and return to normal breathing and rest if at anytime you experience pain, discomfort or
light-headedness. Of course I'm not aware of your physical condition,
but in general, if you keep this simple, don't over-effort and listen
to your body none of the above are likely to happen.

Practice keeping your mind tethered to your breath. It is completely human and
normal for your mind to wander, and trust me, it will!

Whenever you find you've drifted off into thought and away from your breath,
simply say to yourself NON-JUDGMENTALLY, "Thinking!" and return to
focusing your attention to the movement and the breath.

Even if you have to do this 100 times per minute, it does not matter. This is
the beginning of mindfulness meditation... practicing keeping your mind
focused, and constantly bringing it back to the breath whenever you've
drifted. (There's a reason they call it meditation "practice"! Just
like learning and practicing a musical instrument, so too is this

Do not beat yourself up for how much your mind wanders. This happens to everyone. There is a continuum for almost
everything, it sounds like you are on the end of the continuum where
you may experience this more intensely than the average person. Just
let yourself non-judgmentally witness your mind wandering and coming
back, wandering and coming back.

In the beginnings of my practice, I too found that sitting and witnessing my breath alone
seemed impossible (and still often do... it's a process not a
destination!). So I experimented with adding simple movement so that I
had another dimension to help me stay focused on the breath. Both
focuses were right within my own body, which made them more tangible
and accessible. Besides being a vehicle to mindfulness practice for me,
I also found that after I practiced this for 3-5 minutes, I felt
refreshed, relaxed, energized and had looser hips and lower back!

Good luck, Ophelia. You inspired this response, which I am going to turn
into an FB Note so that others can benefit. Thank you for this spark of
inspiration. Namaste.

yes this is a big part of everything i try to let go of my childhood and
forgive. I don't have family was raised in foster care.. have a very
co-dependent relationship with my spouse because of my avoidance of
people situations that would i...nvolve
me being around them. We met when i had just turned 20 and my son was 2
and i was already having anxiety and panic attacks anyway it's been 11
years now I won't go to deep into anything but myself knows that
changes do need to be made before i can become a really whole person
yoga is helping me make changes but these are all small inside and
mainly outside and still not enough with the mind because of me i'm
thinking but I'm not giving up yoga it makes me feel much better. My
son he also likes to do yoga with me, we are really close :D thanks
everyone for responding i wasn't sure if anyone would. and i'm still
looking for answers oh gosh reading through this it is all confusing. I
really just would like to get better. without medicine and my eating
habits are really good no meat no eggs no milk no coffee ( sugar is
hard for me) no processed foods but yet i do not get better.
Thanks so much Tina .. Have you been to YogaYak. I have been doing a full routine there it's Hatha Yoga Routine for Sadness which has a
Breath of Joy Pranayama breathing exercise i'm able to do just fine the
whole routine really makes one feel happier.

Keerthana: i personally strongly feel is its all in your childhood. the trauma u faced as a child. u say FORGIVE but i know its not so easy to do it
practically as easy as it is said.

Ophelia: here's the short version my mother has paranoid schizophrenia and did emotionally and physically abuse me from a young age until 12 when i was put in foster homes and treatments centers. I have forgiven my mom recently realizing she didn't ...know any better i was just part of her delusions ( no i don't have schizophrenia hers was brought on by a head injury she received in a motorcycle accident at the age of 17 ) so really i not only have forgiven her i feel sorry for her and all the pain she has suffered. Now there are people whom have been in my life that i don't forgive and someone really close to me whom i'm suppose to respect but have lost most respect for and is just going on a different path than me, really totally opposite- like smoking, drinking, meat eating, no spirit left but not sure how that is affecting me now. Well there is such a long history I'm not going to get into it and take the whole place up.. Just thanks so much and have a good night.

thoughts are Ok. just focus on your breath. if a thought comes, acknowledge the thought and return your focus to your breath.

Jana: I don't know if that helps a little, it does for me! When i feel worried and have a lot of thoughts going on i imagen in my meditation that iam surounded by a bubble. Nothing but air and i are existing in this bubble and then i ask myself: ...Look how would you feel if all your worries and fears couldn't break through the bubble? I imidiatly feel reliefed, more calm and relaxed. So, i observe then my feelings and thoughts ( its ok to have them while you are meditating) i try to let go of them and keep myself in this relaxed, calm stage. Maybe it can work for you!?

how will somone help you till you are not ready to be helped??... it take years to train one's brain, and even than it dont stop wondering... easy way out for people like us is, "wonder with god everywhere".... guru is anyone who can guide ...you "ahead" from here.... first, remember that god is right by your side, anything you do than remember this anywhere you go.... and, please remember, its not going to be easy as it might sound here, if it does..... "simplicity is the hardest thing to achive".... last but not least, you know about your shortage of money in life, however, took a look inside for abundace of love and craving for learning new and right thing??... embark on journey, its long and one to get scared at starting is not expected to fiish it..... god bless, :)

Go to your nearest library and take out a really simple book on meditation - a book that really spells out what it means to you - a good book with have different breathing excercises, visualations read through these and try a few - no doubt... you will come across a way that will resonate with you and make total sense. Dont worry if you dont get it first time, your mind needs to be trained just like the muscles in a hatha posture - think of the mind like a murky pond that needs clarity you are halfway there becuase you recognise the need to mediate - good luck to you - In love & light x

A teacher or guru is key. Also: try to do a vigorous asana workout before you sit to meditate. Then be sure to do PRANAYAMA .... this will help give you a sense of control over your breath (which is at the heart of anxiety disorder...). Once you have done that you will be in a much better place to meditate. As you sit: don't do much. Let the clutter of the mind and worries about daily life be there. Don't judge it. But slowly, slowly, your mind will move away from that place. It is invevitable. You will begin to focus on the powerful effects of the asanasas and the breathing on your mind. Your mind will shift gears and at some point, you will begin to disidentify with your worrying mind (which we all have). It is there ... but you will discover all the OTHER layers of the mind. And there you will find a place of silent, solace, peace and joy.

Its emotional problem more than mental,treatment only possible after knowing case history

Marda: try yoga nidra. There is a lot of it on the net or even u tube. namaste

tiina: Ophelia -- see your original post on Yoga Vidya's wall for a description of a practice similar to what V.B.M. has suggested above. (I love that his name is my last name with "asana"! Now I'm very curious what it means...). Combining simple movement with breath awareness adds a dimension that can make it more accessible for beginners.

Susan: I'm not sure how I feel about characterizing this as an "emotional problem." The DSM and psychiatric field have much to contribute -- but by 'pathologizing,' some conditions my sense is that they also limit the possibilities for truly e...xploring the depth and meaning of an individual's highly subjective (and often meaningful epxerience). There are approaches to therapy -- e.g. Jungian, psychosynthesis and others -- that do not try to judge/label/pathologize people's subjective experience - but rather attempt to see them as part of your journey ...that is more yogic than 'western psychology' which tends to label and medicate (very left-brain, and potentially harmful approach).

Sudarshan Kriya with Art of Living. Find your mind blank & thoughts stopping on the second day :)

Marcela: chant....

Keerthana: she has to FACE the thoughts. not escape from all her thoughts by doing kriya (i am kriya practicer too)

Suguna: Meditation is not something thats achieved within a day . It helps to focus solely on breathing to start with , this way even with the restless mind bombarded with thoughts , the mind still has something to focus on , ujjai breathing helps ...since there is a sound coming from the epiglottis , the mind is still further distracted from unwanted thoughts . Absolute stillness of the mind is a huge feat and its better to take bit by bit , keeping a 2 min target to start with and increase by a minute as you feel your mind freeing up.It also helps to think of meditation as a time to put thinks in perspective and not "fight" the thoughts ...let them come and its imp to let them go.

Envelope yourself with the thought that nothing is permanent and even this will pass.This will let the oscillating mind find equilibrium when in happiness or sadness.Attachment and aversion are the major thought contents.Try and do sakshibhav and be a third party witness to it as if you are watching a movie.Yog nidra helps.If physical condition is good then suryanamaskar helps to quiten the restless mind.

tasos: you can also do some japa the use of a mantra helps cause it keeps the mind focused on one thing... but the main thing is to not give up... practise makes perfect...

Ophelia: the kindness is overwhelming here it's how i'm hoping to be, there is no judgement just many helpful people taking time out to give advice. i'm taking notes and will look into yog nidra after logging of FB. What is a mantra or something p...ositive one would repeat to face the day with this? and is there a special type of yoga just for 'emotional' issues like panic disorder for one i'm sure the social anxiety has to be dealt with seperate.. there are so many different types of yoga.. Right now i'm doing Hatha online mostly with Tara Stiles and Sadie's youtube.. I like exercise and sweating so that is important too for me. Also i was thinking about the meditation and realize i'm always putting it off
( learning about it) and maybe it scares me. well goodnight. Thanks again please answer my questions about different types of yoga and positive mantras? ♥

Please do the basic course of the art of living. They teach a breathing excercise that does wonders on cleaning up the mind.

guru bala: Reiki can heal your mind and body !

Chandan: Ophelia, there is a good solution for your problem. If you can arrainge a orthodox oil lamp, and burn the oil lamp with sesame oil adding 10 gram of camphor. Place the oil lamp facing you from East, watch the flame every day twice in twilight for 10 min. Its a process (called : Tratak) of cleansing ceribral neurons and in eyes (nadi) the process is very ancient antidote for your problem and truely successful one, if can faithfuly practice.

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