For years, I have lived in an intentional state of being that shielded me from the experience of life… or at least dulled my sensitivity to it.
When I was 5 years old, a terrifying occurrence of molestation took place and from that day forward, my mind took over the way I processed experiences. Physically I learned to be present but mentally I determined to keep on constructing whatever I could to engage my attention.
For example, I could have a conversation with someone and be in a fantasy land at the same time. It was my escape from anything potentially harmful ever again… at least it would not happen in my mind because I knew I controlled that.
In this way, I learned to perceive according my carefully constructed mind filter. Basically, anything that did not register as safety to me, became false… a lie. I would argue and fight with anyone who denied me of my self-created truth.
Among people and the love extended to me, many tools have assisted me in healing, facing my fears, and choosing to be a part of life again.
Jeddah Mali’s Seeds of Enlightenment program is one of these tools that I used to explore the depths of my own being. (This being that I am, was the power inside of me that I didn’t know how to face.)
The first meditation, “Conscious Awareness in the Present Moment” invites you to just be. By guiding you in becoming familiar with the present moment, a gentle reminder of awareness is presented. That is, the awareness that is recognized from within (knowingness of spirit & understanding of heart), NOT the constructs of the mind. Then, the idea of consciousness is presented to the state of awareness further expanding into one’s own being and environment. This experience opens the door to reality, to truth… the truth that is always there even beyond the mind’s interpretation.
My spiritual practice involves various modalities and sometimes I like to mix them up. If you are familiar with mudras, the Gyan Mudra (tip of thumb touching the tip of the index finger) is the posture I held with both hands while being with this meditation.
Instinctively, I chose the Gyan Mudra because it is the mudra of knowledge. It is known to enhance and balance mental capabilities. Given my history, I felt this was a wonderful compliment to this meditation.
After listening to just this first meditation, I feel like a new person with a much deeper understanding of myself and how I interact with everything within and around me.
I am looking forward to practicing this meditation along with the Gyan Mudra hand position simultaneously a few more times before moving onto the next meditation in this program.
Love Always, Love Levette
http://www.learningstrategies.com/Enlightenment/Seeds/Program
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