MAHAPRABHU CATCHING ALL JIVAS
21 July 2002, 8 p.m.
Tel Aviv, Israel
Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is Krsna Himself, Brajendra-nandana Syamasundara, the son of Nanda Maharaja, who plays upon a flute, wears a peacock feather and performs sweet pastimes in Vrndavana. That same person, coming with a very important purpose, has appeared in Navadvipa Dhama as the son of Saci Mata. This same Krsna, who is the Supreme Lord, the ause of all causes and the Absolute Truth, explains in Bhagavad-Gita why He appears in this material world and performs pastimes. What is the reason?
yada yada hi dharmasya
glanir bhavati bharata
tadatmanam srjamy aham
vinasaya ca duskrtam
sambhavami yuge yuge
He is saying, “Whenever religion (Vedic culture) is going down and down, and especially the culture of devotion, pure bhakti, is going down and irreligion is going up and up, at that time I Myself descend to this world and establish the real religion of pure bhakti.” We know that this is the reason for Krsna’s appearance. But this is not the main reason. In fact, to establish dharma (religious principles) is not the business of Krsna. We should know who Krsna is. As the Supreme Absolute Truth, what is the actual essence of His existence?
He is an endless ocean of rasa, love and devotion; and His only business is to taste that bhakti-rasa and to cause others to taste it. This is Krsna’s svarupa, or constitutional position—only to relish and to distribute love. He has no business in destroying irreligious principles and in establishing dharma. The duty of maintaining religious principles in the universe is the duty of Visnu. Brahma creates, Siva destroys and Visnu maintains. It is Visnu’s business to destroy demons and to protect religion. Krsna comes in this world, but He is not avatara; He is avatari. He is not an expansion; rather, He is the source of all expansions. Therefore, when He comes, all the other forms of Bhagavan are included in Him. Krsna comes here to perform His sweet pastimes, but at the same time, He kills so many demons, like Trnavarta, Sakatasura, Aghasura, Bakasura, and later, Kamsa, Jarasandha, Sisupala, Dhantavakra and others. It seems that Krsna is killing these demons, but this is a misconception. Krsna never kills any demons. Krsna is only playing loving pastimes with His devotees. When you see that Krsna killed a demon, it was not Krsna—it was Visnu inside Krsna who killed the demon.
Similarly, when Krsna comes in this world as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, He does not come here to establish yuga-dharma as His primary purpose. In the age of Kali, the yuga-dharma is nama-sankirtana. Visnu can establish nama-sankirtana. There is no need of the Supreme Lord Himself, Krsna, the son of Nanda Maharaja from Vrndavana, to appear in this world as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu to establish yuga-dharma. Visnu can do this. Incidentally (anusangika), Mahaprabhu does establish yuga-dharma, bit this is a side effect of His coming, not the purpose.
Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu comes in this world for another reason. What it that?
prema-rasa-niryasa karite asvadana
raga-marga bhakti loke karite pracarana
(CC Adi 4.15)
He comes to this world because He Himself wants to taste prema-rasa, the essence of love, Krsna-prema. When He and Srimati Radhika meet together in the kunjas of Vrndavana, Their prema comes to a very high stage. Radharani’s love rises to maha-bhava. In that condition:
na so ramana, na hama ramani
dunhu-mana manobhava pesala jani’
(CC Madhya 8.194)
Radharani cannot understand who She is. Becoming bewildered, She wonders, “Am I Radharani or am I Krsna?” This is called prema-vilasa-vivarta. This is also known as prema-rasa-niryasa. When Radhika comes into the stage of madanakhya maha-bhava, Krsna has no idea how She feels. Because Krsna wanted to know this prema-rasa-niryasa, He appeared from the womb of Saci Mata as Nimai Pandita, Gauranga Mahaprabhu, in Nadiya, Navadvipa. To taste and to realize these things, Krsna appeared as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, but He had another purpose also, which is relevant to us.
Raga-marga bhakti loke karite pracarana. He wanted to preach in the world one type of bhakti that had never been preached before. This is called raga-marga bhakti, spontaneous devotional service. Though before the time of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu some rare personalities, like Jayadeva Gosvami, Candidasa, Vidyapati, Bilvamangala Thakura, were in raga marga, yet still, within that raganuga bhakti, there was one kind of bhakti that was never given before—that is called rupanuga bhakti. What is that? First of all, the reason that He wanted to give raganuga bhakti is because raganuga means raga. That refers to the love of ragatmika, the love of those who are already there in Vrndavana. Anuga means following. So the method of bhakti which follows the moods of those who are already there in Vrndavana, the associates of Krsna, is called raganuga bhakti. The word raga means prema-mayi trsna, a thirst to love—just as we are very very thirsty if we have not taken any water for two days. So when the heart is thirsty to love and serve Krsna, this is called raga. And the speciality of this love for Krsna is that in this, there is no consideration of rules and regulations or any idea that Krsna is God. The residents of Vrndavana only see Krsna as an ordinary person. The cowherd boys think that “Krsna is my bosom friend. He is not greater than me—my father has more cows than His father.” And those who are in parental mood think that Krsna is a child—He gets hungry, He gets thirsty, He is hot, He is cold, He gets upset. “I have to take care of Him. Sometimes I have to chastize Him. If I don’t, He may become a wild character when He grows up. And the younger girls of Vrndavana, the gopis, think that “Krsna is my sweetheart. He is my most beloved. OK, I am married to someone else, but anyway, from the beginning of my life, I love only Krsna.”
All these types of love are natural and intimate. Everyone can freely and intimately meet with Krsna, except for those in madhurya mood, the gopis, because by Yogamaya, Krsna’s lila-sakti, they have the impression that they are married to someone else. Therefore, for them to go and meet with Krsna is very difficult. Their situation is very pathetic. If we will hear of their plight, it will break our hearts. Their love and attachment to Krsna is the highest, but in Vrndavana, it is forbidden. Having to hide their love in their hearts, it gets hotter and hotter. Just like in cooking, if you keep the lid on the pot, inside it becomes very hot. Because they have to hide their love for Krsna, this love gets hotter and hotter and hotter.
Among those who have a love like this for Krsna, some of the gopis are a little younger. They are not attracted to meet directly with Krsna. Rather, they want to arrange Radharani to meet with Krsna. They have such one-pointed devotion for Radharani that even in their dreams they will not meet directly with Krsna. This is called palya dasi bhava, or manjari bhava, or rupanuga bhakti. And it had never been given before. Those who follow this mood are rupanuga.
This love which had never been given before—not since the last time Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu appeared, eight billion years before. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, who is Krsna Himself, came to give this love, but who is qualified to understand and to practice a very high level of sadhana and high level of transcendental emotion? However, Krsna has one one quality—daksya. Daksya means He is completely expert at doing everything. He is a complete genius. Therefore, when He came, He performed pastimes in such a way as to make us qualified.
Srila Narottama dasa Thakura said:
gaurangera duti-pada, jara dhana sampada,
se jane bhakati rasa sara
If someone will accept the two lotus feet of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu as their only dhana, their only wealth, that person can know bhakti-rasa-sara, the essence of love and devotion.
gaurangera madhura lila, ja'ra karne pravesila,
hrdoya nirmala bhelo ta'ra
“Hey, all you jivas of Kali-yuga! Your hearts are black, full of lust and anger and nonsense. Anyway, here is the medicine. If you will hear the sweet pastimes of Gauranga, your heart will become immaculate, neat and clean, completely fresh and uncontaminated.
gauranga gunete jhure, nitya-lila ta'ra sphure,
se jana bhakati adhikari
If you will appreciate the qualities of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, then the eternal pastimes of Radha and Krsna will manifest in your heart and you will be qualified for this highest type of prema.
sri-krsna-caitanya-daya karaha vicara
vicara karile citte pabe camatkara
(Cc. Adi 8.15)
You know that Kaviraja Gosvami told us, “My dear friend, if you are interested in logic and argument, then apply it to the mercy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. If you will try to understand the mercy of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, then you will be struck with wonder. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu is Krsna Himself. Like a teacher, He takes the hand of the student and makes him write: A B C. Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu very lovingly and patiently wants to show us how to do ABC of bhakti. But in Kali-yuga we are not even qualified for ABC of bhakti. So He is performing a very special pastime only to attract everyone and fix their minds on Him. Only by chanting His name and remembering His lila, a very low-class person will become transformed. In this world, there are so many young students who like to go to college and carefully study all kinds of useless material theories. In order to attract them, Mahaprabhu became a student and studied grammar, logic, astrology and all these uselss material subjects. In this age, everyone likes to argue, so He would go everywhere arguing with everyone. “Oh, He is arguing with everyone! He is my hero. I also like arguing.” In this way, He attracts these people also.
In Kali-yuga people are very destructive and take pleasure in bad behavior, without any cause whatsoever. If a musician wants to be famous, he just takes his guitar and smashes it to pieces, for nothing. And in Kali-yuga, everyone is so stupid that they think, “Oh, very good. Very good. How wonderful!” When Caitanya Mahaprabhu was a small boy, he went into His mother’s kitchen and smashed everything to pieces, for no reason. Then Saci Mata said, “Oh, You have broken everything to pieces. Now we have nothing in our house.” The small boy Nimai smiled and gave His mother a piece of gold, saying, “I found this gold. Take it.” “From where did You get this gold?” In this way, He performed so many charming pastimes which cause our attention to go to Him.
All the brahmanas would go to the Ganges every day. They would take bath, put on their tilaka, chant their Gayatri and do their puja. On His way back from school, the small Nimai Pandita would come to the Ganges with His friends, looking for fun. He would come to the spot where the brahmanas were doing their activities. They had taken bath and put on clean cloth and tilaka. Nimai would fill His mouth with water and spit on them. The girls would also come to take bath in the river, and would leave their hair down. Nimai would take small seeds covered with spikes and throw them in the girls’ hair. These seeds do not come out easily. Sometimes the young girls would come to the bank of the river to worship and make offerings to Lord Siva. The naughty Nimai would come and grab and eat their offerings. If they would protest against Him, He would say, “I am a brahmana. I will give you a benediction [curse] that you will have a very old and ugly husband and at least five other co-wives.”
When the brahmanas were standing up to their waists in the water, chanting their mantra, Nimai would swim underneath like a crocodile, grab their legs and pull them out from under them. They were all standing there, and one by one, they disappear underneath the water. The brahmanas would then go to Nimai’s house to complain to His parents about Him, but the girls who were being harassed by Nimai Pandita would quickly go ahead to warn Nimai, “They are going to your father’s house now to complain against you.” In this way, it was understood that although they were complaining against Him when He was stealing their offerings, actually they loved Him, but their love is coming out in a crooked way. Now, when He was in trouble, they changed their mood and they went to help Him.
Knowing that the brahmanas were on their way to His father to speak against Him, Nimai could make a plan how to escape being beaten by Jagannatha Misra. He took some ink and put ink-spots all over His body and then walked home with His books. In an angry mood, His father was waiting to give Him a good lesson for His bad behavior. But Nimai Pandita was so clever. He said, “Someone has made a complaint against Me! But I never went to the river. I have not taken bath yet. See? I have just come back from school.” And when His father saw the ink on His body, he thought, “Oh, He has not taken bath. He must be telling the truth.” Then, when His father went away, He burst out laughing. And His friends said, “Hey Nimai, today You narrowly escaped having a good beating!”
The next day, the brahmanas were again chanting their Gayatri in the Ganga. Before, when they were chanting their Gayatri, they were meditating on nirvisesa brahma, impersonal oneness. But now, as they were chanting their Gayatri, they were looking all around in fear and wondering, “What if that boy will come and grab my feet again?” But who is that boy? He is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, the endless ocean of rasa. So somehow or other, by one trick or another, Krnsa as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu makes all kinds of fallen and useless people remember the Supreme Absolute Truth, who is the ocean of love and affection.
After some time, His elder brother Visvarupa took sannyasa and left home. Now try to understand the situation. Saci Mata had only two sons, no other children. The older boy took sannyasa, so how much her attachment to Nimai doubled and doubled and tripled! If someone has two children and loses one, then that one who is left becomes even more dear—the attachment thickens and deepens. But after some time, Jagannatha Misra, the father of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, left this world. Now Saci Mata had only Nimai. When Visvarupa took sannyasa, Saci Mata was crying and crying. Young Nimai came in His mother’s lap and, drying her tears, told her, “O Mother, don’t cry! Don’t cry. You should not worry. I will never leave you.” Nimai Pandita’s marriage was arranged. Saci Mata was very pleased when Nimai’s marriage was arranged with Laksmi-Priya. Try to meditate on and remember the moods of Navadvipa. This is all part of Mahaprabhu’s astonishing lila to catch all the jivas in the world. Saci Mata’s main worry in her life was that her son would take sannyasa and leave. So if He would be married, then He would stay with her. In this way her life would have meaning, because the only purpose in His mother’s life was how to serve her child Nimai.
Saci Mata thought she was safe, but what happened? Very suddenly Laksmi Priya passed away. Then what thought came in the mind of Saci Mata? “He has to marry again; otherwise He may take sannyasa. He may leave home and be sadhu. This is His nature. He likes doing sankirtana, and He loves Krsna. Those who love Krsna naturally do not like to stay in their homes.” So on one side, there was Saci Mata’s one-pointed love completely and exclusively at the lotus feet of Nimai. And on the other hand, she was always in the state of anxiety. Somehow or other, He should not leave Navadvipa. So again Nimai Pandita was married to a very young, beautiful and qualified girl, Visnu Priya devi. Now again Saci Mata could breathe easily and relax a little. But every day, Nimai Pandita would wander all over Nadiya, doing harinama sankirtana with all His associates—Nityananda Prabhu, Srivasa Thakura, Haridasa Thakura, Mukunda, Murari and others. When they returned, all covered in dust and perspiration, they were very very happy. Saci Mata was very pleased to see Her son returning with His associates. Crying tears of joy and with milk flowing from her breast, she would take her son in her lap and clean the dust from His body.
In this way, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, through the chanting of harinama, was tasting the love of Radharani for Krsna, but not to His satisfaction, not completely. During this period He is doing pastimes like a grhasta. Why? Because in Kali-yuga, almost everyone will be grhasta. So to attract the minds of all householders, and also to give them a perfect example, He performed His grhasta lila. But He was always thinking, “I came in this world to taste the love of Radharani, but I am not experiencing this. So I will have to leave home, take sannyasa, and give My whole heart and everything to realize the love of Radharani.” Saci Mata was very old and completely attached to and dependent upon Him. His wife Visnu Priya was only about sixteen years old and also completely dependent and completely attached to Him. Even so, for the sake of Krsna-prema, He left them both.
Rupa Gosvamipada said: dadati pratigrhnati, sadbhir bhaktih prasidhyati. If you want to become successful in bhakti, you have to give something and you have to receive something. Giving means you have to give up that thing which is your nearest and dearest and most favorite treasured object. This is the meaning of dadati. Visnu Priya devi was so near and dear to Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu; He set an example for the whole world that He gave up what was so very dear to Him for the sake of attaining Krsna-prema. We can easily give some things that we don’t like, but we are slow to give up that which is most dear, to which we are most attached—this is what Krsna is waiting for us to give. And Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, though He was loved by all the residents of Navadvipa, and they were more dear to Him than His very self, still He left everyone and took sannyasa.
He took sannyasa in the line of Sankaracarya. Why? Because there were many many sannyasis and impersonalists, He apparently took sannyasa in the line of Sankaracarya to attract them. Krsna is very expert. He knows how to perform His pastimes in such a way that He will have maximum impact in catching and attracting all the jivas and bringing them into the line of pure bhakti. Now He has taken sannyasa and has gone to stay in Jagannatha Puri. By His pastimes in Jagannatha Puri, He has shown the perfect exemplary behavior of a Vaisnava in the renounced order.
apane na kaile dharma sikhana na yaya
ei ta’ siddhanta gita-bhagavate gaya
(CC Adi 3.21)
Krsna remembered, “If you want to teach dharma or anything else, but especially if you want to teach prema-bhakti, unless you yourself practice, you cannot teach others. You will have to practice what you are preaching; otherwise, your preaching will have no effect.”
When Krsna descended to this world, He gave many instructions in Bhagavad-Gita, one of which is, “You should come in the line of pure bhakti.” But He Himself never set the example. Now Krsna realized this fact—without setting the example yourself, you cannot teach others. “So I will come and I will show everyone how to practice bhakti by My own example.” How was Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu passing His time in Jagannatha Puri? He was completely absorbed in chanting harinama and hearing hari katha. Without dedicating your life to the chanting of Hare Krsna and hearing hari katha in the association of pure sadhus, you cannot attain the goal of life. Many people think, “I will take diksa from my Guru and then I will go away. I will chant and in this way I will become a pure devotee.” But what did Krsna Himself demonstrate in the form of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu? He would spend day and night in the last twelve years of His life in Gambhira with Svarupa Damodara and Raya Ramanada, hearing very sweet hari katha from them, chanting Hare Krsna and crying. Everyday He would go and hear Srimad Bhagavatam from Gadadhara Pandita. And in the evening He would relish the moods of Radharani, being inspired by the association of Svarupa Damodara and Raya Ramanada. He followed this program not for just one or two days, but for twelve years.
So Krsna is showing by His own example what we will have to go through, what is our life and practice if we want to attain this gift that Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu came to give. That is called rupanuga bhajana, following in the moods of the servants of Srimati Radharani. The process is rupanuga bhakti and the goal is service of Radharani’s lotus feet. To achieve this goal, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu showed us how to chant harinama and how to relish the mellows of Vrndavana-lila. In the daytime, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu would feel separation from Krsna, just as Radharani would feel separation from Him. But when it would begin to get dark in the evening, His separation would increase more and more.
radhikara bhava yaiche uddhava-darsane
sei bhave matta prabhu rahe ratri-dine
(CC Adi 4.108)
Kaviraja Gosvamipada explained: Just as Radharani was in a state of madness of love in separation when Uddhava came to Vrndavana, similarly Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s heart was an exact mirror of Radharani’s emotions at that time. We should recognize those whose mood of separation is the highest. Whoever has more love will nourish a higher separation mood. In Vrndavana everyone loves Krsna. They have loved Krsna for their whole lives, and they always remain absorbed in thoughts of Him. They are endowed with raga—their hearts are thirsty to serve Him more and more and ensure that He is happy. Krsna is their prana, their life and soul. So when Krsna left Vrndavana and went to Mathura, all the Brijabasis were devastated by separation from Him. What to speak of the human beings, even the cuckoos were not singing anymore, the peacocks were no longer dancing, even the bumblebees stopped going to the flowers—they were only rolling on the ground and crying. Mother Yasoda was crying so much—it was as if she had become blind. In the evening time sometimes she would take an aratika tray and, like a madwoman, go out into the road, waiting for Krsna to come back from cow-grazing as He did every day during His childhood. Mother Yasoda was waiting and waiting until it became dark and thinking, “Why has Krsna not come back?” Then she would go door to door, calling to the houses of Krsna’s friends, “O Mother of Subala. Hey Mother of Sridama. Where are you? Have your boys returned from cow-grazing yet? Did your boys come home?” And she would fall to the ground. If Mother Yasoda’s mood is like this, then what is the mood of the gopis? Their love is even higher.
During this time Krsna, in the form of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, was staying in the Gambhira in the evening time with Svarupa Damodara and Raya Ramanada. He would be completely absorbed in the mood of Radharani at the time when Krsna had gone to Mathura. Now Krsna Himself is showing us by His own example how to do bhajana. He had no idea that He was Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Only He was absorbed, “I am Radhika.” But none of us should think that we are Radhika. Only take the example of His eagerness and absorption in remembering Krsna’s pastimes, following in the footsteps of a Brijabasi. He was following in Radhika’s footsteps. We will have to follow in the footsteps of Rupa Manjari and Rati Manjari.
This is a very pathetic situation. Krsna is the Supreme Enjoyer—His body is very soft and He was used to having all kinds of facilities and enjoyment. But now what happened? He shaved His head, He was wearing simple cloth and sleeping on the floor with no blanket. Why was He unnecessarily subjecting Himself to all these difficulties? He was staying in Puri, and far away in Bengal His mother, His wife, all family members and all the people He loved and grew up with were very far away and crying. He was very far away in Puri and He was also crying. When the devotees would bring so many prasadam preparations from Jagannatha deva, He would say, “Just give Me the boiled vegetable.” Why? Why was He doing this to Himself? Because He was very very greedy and very very determined to realize Krsna-prema to the highest degree. In the Gambhira, Svarupa Damodara would recite many verses from Bilvamangala Thakura’s Krsna-Karnamrta and Jayadeva Gosvami’s Gita-Govinda. As Radharani’s moods would come in Mahaprabhu’s heart, sometimes He Himself would recite verses from Srimad-Bhagavatam and other sastra.
madhu-madhura-smita-lobhita tanu-bhrtam anupama-bhava-vilasam
nidhuvana nagari mohita-manasa-vikathita-gadgada-bhasam
One Vaisnava kavi, Radha-Mohana, is saying that Mahaprabhu’s face is so sweet. If you see His face, greed will awaken in your heart, especially if you see His face when He is absorbed in the mood of nidhuvana-nagari Radhika. At that time He is vikathita-gadgada-bhasam, calling the name of Krsna in a voice choked with emotion.
gao punah punah, gaurangera guna
sarala hoiya mana
e bhava-sagare, emona doyala
na dekhi ye eka-jana
(yadi) gauranga nahito, tabe ki hoito
kemone dharito de
radhara mahima, prema-rasa-sima
jagate janato ke
Narahari Thakura is writing: If Gauranga Mahaprabhu had not come into this world, then who would know about the love of Srimati Radhika, which is an endless ocean of rasa? No one would have understood anything. Gao punah punah, gaurangera guna—go on singing, go on singing! Go on broadcasting all of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu’s qualities. And make your mind very simple. Give up all selfishness. Don’t have any duplicity. Just go on hearing and chanting about Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. E bhava-sagare, emona doyala na dekhi ye eka-jana—in this whole material existence, no one has seen anyone so merciful as Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Why? Because simply hearing about Him awakens greed in the heart of all the jivas.
Mahaprabhu was remembering a verse from Krsna-Karnamrta:
kim iha krnumah kasya brumah krtam krtam asaya
kathayata katham anyam dhanyam aho hrdaye sayah
krpana-krpana krsne trsna ciram bata lambate
(CC Antya 17.51)
Remembering this verse, He was crying and chanting Krsna-nama, absorbed in the mood of Radharani. Radharani was speaking with Her sakhis when Krsna had left Vrndavana. This is a very pathetic verse and it shows how Radharani is helplessly in love with Krsna. She could not check Herself. Many moods were coming one after another. She could not control the flow of Her own heart’s feelings. The moods were flowing just like waves waves in the ocean, rising up and falling. Sometimes one mood would come and then subside. Sometimes two moods would come at once, mixing together and intensifying each other. And sometimes one mood was so high that it would push down all the other moods—it would fight with them and, overcoming them, become prominent.
Mahaprabhu was completely identifying with Radharani, remembering Krsna. First, one wave began to rise in the heart of Radharani. This is called nirveda, hopelessness. Radharani is telling Her sakhis: kim iha krnumah kasya brumah. “O Lalita, Visakha, what can I do now that Krsna has gone? Can you do anything? Is there anything that I can do to solve this situation? To whom can I speak? To whom can I express My heart? I cannot talk to anyone in Vrndavana because My love for Krsna is forbidden. I can only talk to you, My sakhis. I don’t know what to do because My mind is in such anxiety that I cannot think properly. I cannot speak to others because My love for Krsna is forbidden in society. I can only speak to you. But your minds are just as disturbed as Mine; you also have become crazy and cannot understand what to do either, so I cannot speak to anyone.”
Radharani was in so much anxiety and nervous, and then, all of a sudden, She became very calm and quiet, because another wave of emotion arose in Her heart. This is called mati. Mati means the peacefulness that one feels upon deliberating on the meaning of scripture. And the anubhava of this mood is giving instructions to others. It is the nature of those who have realized the purport of sastra—they cannot check themselves—to give instructions to others. So Radharani told Her sakhis: krtam krtam asaya. She said, “O My dear Sakhis, you know that in scripture it is explained: asa hi paramam duhkham (SB 11.8.43). To have a hope, to have a desire, is the highest form of suffering. Nairasyam paramam sukham: the highest happiness is to be completely hopeless. Why? Don’t you know? Once there was a prostitute whose name was Pingala. She dressed herself up very very nicely and was waiting for some client to come to her. One man would come walking by and she would think, ‘Oh, this man will definitely enjoy with me.’ But then, when that person would walk past, she would become upset and disappointed. If she would see anyone else coming, she would think, ‘Oh yes, this person will definitely come to me.’” And again when that person went past, she would become depressed. Thus she passed the whole night in great anxiety. Then she had a change of heart and completely gave up the idea of enjoying with anyone. She thought, ‘OK, if no one comes, I don’t care.’ Thus, at once her anxiety went away and, feeling happy, she said: asa hi paramam duhkham, nairasyam paramam sukham. To have a hope is a cause of all suffering, and when you become completely hopeless, then you are happy.”
In this way Radharani was instructing Her friends, “O My dear Sakhis, why are we in so much anxiety and worried and feeling so much pain? We should not be like this. When Krsna mounted Akrura’s chariot to leave Vrndavana, He told us: ayasya iti dautyakaih (SB 10.39.35). ‘O My dear gopis, I will return the day after tomorrow.’ The day after tomorrow came, and the next day and the next day. Now we have been waiting for years and years, and still Krsna has not come. Why should we believe in Him? So krtam krtam asaya: let us be done with this hope. We should give up all hope at once and then we will be happy.” Then all sakhis composed themselves and became very peaceful, thinking, “Yes, now we have given up hope. Now we are OK.”
Then another mood entered Radharani’s heart and became prominent. This is called amarsa bhava. This means indignation. Why? The Sakhis were saying, “Now we are very happy that we have gotten rid of that black person. From the beginning of our lives, He gave us so much trouble, and now He is gone. Good riddance! We are happy that He is gone and we are better off without Him.” Then this amarsa bhava came. Radharani was so indignant and said:
kathayata katham anyam dhanyam aho hrdaye sayah
“O My dear Sakhi, Krsna has gone but you are still talking about Him. Don’t even talk about Him. You should talk about something else, something auspicious.” So then Radhika and all the sakhis decided, “Yes, we will not talk about Krsna any more. We will talk about something else which is dhanya, very fortunate, and which brings happiness.” So then they all began to search for something to speak about because they had never said anything before that was not about Krsna.
Then another big wave came in Radharani’s heart. She said: aho hrdaye sayah. “Oh, that very person whom we are trying to forget just came here and He is lying down in My heart!” There are two kinds of vision—outer and inner, both of which go on at the same time. With your outer vision you are seeing that we are sitting in an apartment in Tel Aviv, listening to a lecture. But by your inner vision, through the hearing process, you are seeing how Radharani is experiencing so many moods with Her sakhis and criticizing Krsna. Because our hearts are not so soft, our inner vision is not so strong. But Radharani’s heart is so soft—whatever She feels inside is true as life. Just at that point, when they had all decided to forget Krsna, there and then Radharani said, “Oh, that person has come and He is lying down in one kunja in My heart.”
Now a new wave of emotion arose—trasa-bhava, fear. When this trasa bhava comes, for example, if there is a big explosion of thunder and lightening in the sky, then a child becomes afraid. And the anubhava of this mood is that one looks for someone else to help them. Radharani was completely shocked to see Krsna appear in Her heart. Becoming afraid, She said, “I cannot get away from Him!” and took shelter of Her sakhis.
At that time Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu, being in the Gambhira, was also feeling afraid. Out of fear, He was holding onto the hands of Svarupa Damodara and Raya Ramananda and taking shelter of them. Then another mood came in Radharani’s heart, and She began to tell Her sakhis: madhura-madhura-smerakare mano-nayanotsave. She was seeing how this very beautiful, dark-complexioned boy was lying down in a kunja. His beautiful curling hair was falling over His face, and He was peering through His locks, casting a sidelong glance and smiling towards Radharani. Radharani knew the meaning of this glance and the meaning of this smile. Then, another very strong emotion came. This is called udvega—very intense eagerness to meet with Krsna. She said: krpana-krpana krsne trsna cirad bata lambate. “O Sakhi, what can I do? I want to meet with Him at once! My eagerness to meet with Him is increasing by the moment.” Then, as She was about to meet with Krsna in Her heart, the sphurti disappeared and Krsna was gone. And again Radharani was back where She had started, just crying in the ocean of separation from Krsna. Being overwhelmed, She fainted in the arms of Lalita Sakhi.
In the same way, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was chanting Hare Krsna and fainting in the arms of Svarupa Damodara. When He came back to consciousness, Mahaprabhu began to chant Hare Krsna. Crying, trembling and chanting Krsna-nama, He was completely absorbed, unaware of anything else. He was only remembering Krsna and absorbed in the pastimes of Vrndavana. Now in the mood of Radharani, remembering Her former pastimes with Krsna, He began to cry:
ha ha krsna prana-dhana, ha ha padma-locana,
ha ha divya sad-guna-sagara!
ha ha syama-sundara, ha ha pitambara-dhara,
ha ha rasa-vilasa nagara
(CC Antya 17.60)
“Alas, alas! Where is my prana-dhana, the treasure of My heart? Oh, where is that beautiful boy with eyes like lotus petals? Oh, where is My beloved, who is like an ocean of wonderful divine qualities? He belongs to Me. Oh, where is He whose complexion is like a fresh rain-cloud? Oh, where is that boy on whose dark complexioned body there is a golden streak of lightening in the form of His pitambara, His yellow cloth? Where is My beloved, who is the hero of the rasa-lila?” In this way, Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu was spending His time calling out the name of Krsna. Why? Because He is very expert at achieving His aim and objective. He knows how to attract all the fallen jivas in Kali-yuga, how to capture their minds, their imaginations, their attention, in order to show them how to chant Krsna-nama, how to do bhajana and attain the service of the lotus feet of Radhika, by His own example.
gaurangera duti-pada, jara dhana sampada,
se jane bhakati rasa sara
Any person who accepts the lotus feet of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu as his only treasure in life can realize the essence of bhakti. Those who are Gaudiya wear tilaka, kanthi mala and dhoti; they keep a japa mala and chant harinama; and they follow Ekadasi. Why? These are Mahaprabhu’s rules and regulations. Those who live in America are very proud that they are American and hang flags everywhere; they try to dress and act like Americans. Why? They think, “This is MY country.” The basis of love is ‘Mine-ness’, possessiveness. This is true for everyone. Without mineness, there can be no love. A mother and father will love their child because they think, “This is MY child.” They don’t have love for any other children. This mine-ness is called mamata. Without mamata, there can be no prema. So first thing, if we want to have Krsna-prema, we have to have mamata, mine-ness, for Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Therefore, we wear kanthi mala, apply tilaka three times a day, wear a dhoti and chant harinama on japa mala because these are the rules of MY Caitanya Mahaprabhu. The Gaudiya Sampradaya is MY sampradaya. These are the teachings and process of bhakti of MY sampradaya, so I follow everything completely. This mamata for Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu will be transformed into love for the lotus feet of Radha and Krsna. So from today, we should not keep any mine-ness for this body and mind. This body is only a bag of stool, urine, blood, mucous, bile, air and bones. After some time it will become food for worms and dogs. Why do we have mine-ness for this body, country, society and family members? Why are we keeping this dirt in our hearts? This mine-ness for body, family, society and nation is only contamination. But you cannot be without mine-ness; you cannot just give it up. You have to replace it with mine-ness for something else. So first have mamata for the lotus feet of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu. Gaurangera duti-pada, jara dhana sampada—the lotus feet of Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu are MINE. They are my wealth—I only have this, nothing else. Then Sri Caitanya Mahaprabhu will manifest His form as Radha and Krsna, and one’s bhakti will become perfect. At that time, the devotee will always be in bliss and will always be remembering the names of Radha and Krsna.