Dictionary meaning of crying is to shout, to call loudly, to weep and shed tears .We doesn’t want to cry and shed tears. We hate to cry in front of others because crying would mean lack of control on one’s emotions and helplessness and we do not want to give such a poor picture of ourselves. But, quite often in our life, we cry and at the same time do not realize its importance.
When I was a small child I was taught that tears were a sign of "breaking down," an embarrassment at all costs to be avoided. Control of the emotions was considered necessary for your public personality and reputation. Girls were allowed to cry at times but were privately censored for it. Boys were definitely criticized severely for crying and encouraged to build a stronger wall of defense to protect them. First of all, the idea of "breaking down" implies loss of all defenses, making yourself vulnerable and losing control of your public personality. But what is someone "breaking down" to? Could it there are other aspects of the self needing expression?
Freud taught that the unconscious mind is greater than the conscious mind and therefore receives unacknowledged input. The unconscious is in the world of dreams where suppressed emotions and desires are found. In addition, our greater unconscious often picks up on important information our conscious mind is not yet aware of.
Most of us are on a treadmill with our jobs and family responsibilities. We often do not have time to address unconscious emotions and desires. This can lead to a buildup of energy that needs to be released one way or the other. Have you noticed many people are more worried about small things and more irritable? This is just a symptom of what lies beneath. No one wants to witness themselves explode with unrealized unexpressed emotions. Some people project their problems on others; some withdraw and try to find their authentic self.
Tears release endorphins, the same wonderful chemicals that lift our moods after a good workout at the gym. It enables a re-centering and re-structuring of self. All the under surface slights and alienations from others are released. Maybe our ideas of emotional health and well-being should include time to get all our feelings out and refresh ourselves. It is like wiping the slate clean and starting over without all the excess emotional baggage. Tears are a sign we are human and live in a tough world.
Macho men are decreasing as we integrate the feminine more fully into society. Macho men feel tremendous responsibility and an absolute need for control that can cause ulcers, a heightened fight-or-flight response, increased blood pressure and an early demise.
Those that criticize others for crying should realize it’s a royal road to the heart and a more relaxed and balanced way of seeing yourself and the world. If you never let yourself go how you can find yourself? Contact with your real self needs to be part of the cycle of living fully. If we all grieved together over our secret sorrows we would have a healthier, better world.
During adulthood, individuals cry when they are in severe pain or when they are in severe emotional stress like death, separation, loss of money, property and status etc. Crying help them to ventilate their feeling and thus reduce the psychological tension. But on the other side the socio-cultural norms and restrictions do not allow people to cry freely and whenever they want to cry, they have to do it in private.
Although in our culture, like in many other cultures, we have even prescribed rituals at the time of death which encourage, the grief- stricken people to cry. Even in place like Rajasthan people hire professional mourners to encourage family members to cry themselves out .And the best example of this film Rudali . Even it is observed that when person suppress their need to cry or use deviant ways to ventilate their emotions and draw other’s attention. This can result in different types of physical and mental ailments. The person can develop psychosomatic illness like peptic ulcer, High blood pressure, Headache, Joints pain, Asthma etc.
One should remember, that people cry when they are extremely happy too. Best example to understand that after wining the world cup 2011 by Indian team. All players were crying because they all were extremely happy at that moment. So now time has come to change your notion about crying is that is only meant for females. And wrongly believed and also expected that all women are emotionally unstable and they cry for trivial reason.
Therefore crying is our companion and can be a good friend
By yoga guru suneel singh www.yogagurusuneelsingh.com Contact 08800605465
Thanks Mr Ravidas ji
Dear Guru Suneel,
i thank you for this blog post.
All the ideas you mention are my experiences.
I was not allowed to cry as a child and it nearly killed me.
Crying ist connected with deep breathing also, not only letting go poisos stuff out of the body.
Best wishes from Bad Meinberg, Germany - Eduard-Ravidas